I tweaked my knee a week ago and have had to rest it. Nothing serious, but definitely a trip in the road towards my goal of running a marathon this year. I'm hoping the doc tells me today that I can return to running. He did tell me my knees look great for 50! No arthritis and no sign of wearing down...more like the knees of a 20 year old. Proof I am young and beautiful on the inside!
I spent most of yesterday creating action plans for my identified goals for this year. Having missed January, I made adjustments to begin where I am today. This is something I could not (or would not) do several years ago. If I felt I had failed somehow, I found it easier to let the goal fade away than to adjust and move forward. That "failure" would cloud my vision of what could be and send me into a defeatist attitude, therefore letting me off the hook for making the necessary changes to pursue my own dreams! The mind is a tricky thing.
The good news is I can use the mind's tricky nature to jump back into my dreams, to act as if I am beginning today, to envision the me I want to become, the life I want to live, and to adjust my starting point to today. I can't change yesterday or the week or month before. But I can choose today to pursue my dreams. I can choose to see the path and to take a step forward. At 50 what I have learned about goals is that I am the only one who can hold me back, and I am the only one who can move me forward. The way may not always be clear, but if I am open to possibilities and willing to see and do things differently, I can navigate the obstacles.
Let's take running, for instance. Running, for me never felt natural or easy. As a child I had asthma that would kick in with allergies as well as exercise. At times my lungs would feel like they were clamping shut, sending me into a near panic. However, the asthma rarely kicked in while swimming. When I think of this now, I wonder why swimming would not trigger the asthma, but running did? Did it have something to do with the controlled breathing necessary in swimming? Or was it something else?
I learned to run while training for triathlons 25 years ago. It was hard and so many times I wanted to stop, but I pushed through the initial heart rate surge and burning in my lungs to eventually get to a place where I could run 10 or more miles at a stretch. I would get into a groove and just keep going.
Starting again at age 50, I remember the discomfort involved with improving cardiovascular health, building strength, and working muscles that for the most part have waited idly to be engaged again. Yes, those things are uncomfortable, but moving my body again results in a feeling of energy so it is its own reward. No, the most difficult part of starting again, is clearing my mind of excuses, fears, and obstacles to just see the path in front of me. My mind is my worst enemy when it comes to change because it recalls previous experience and conjures a similar outcome, therefore dooming me to repeat the same experience again and again.
This is why most diets fail. This is why quitting smoking( _______ insert any habit here) is difficult. This is why change in general is difficult for humans. The same mind that can be enlightened and inspired to achieve extraordinary feats, may also be lulled into complacency, or distracted with seemingly enjoyable activity. The longer the distraction, the deeper it is reinforced as "the norm." So breaking the habit takes consistent corrective action. And convincing the mind of the value of the corrective action means re-wiring the response to a new "norm."
This is the basic premise of the" power of positive thinking", of visualization, and the power of a sudden realization, near-death experience, or wake up call. The mind is given a new option for responding. If you can see yourself making a different response, you can also create the pathway to get there. And the most powerful thing to me about all of this is the strength and steadfastness of the spirit to send the mind the soul's image of wholeness! So even at our darkest moments, we have access to an image of something different. Something that can inspire hope.
And so, full circle, I am back to my goals for improving specific areas of my life:
- Health & lifestyle
- Relationships
- Writing
- Travel
- Work
- Spiritual Practice
- Organization and decor of my surroundings
The road ahead is exciting and challenging, as each step brings me more into alignment with the Me I see in my heart and soul. And the only true failure is the failure to try.
